With the upcoming move, things have been super stressful. We’ve found a small place to rent for a few months in our new city and we were lucky enough to have our house sell in two days. That was a mixed bag of emotions. I went from elated to be out from under a mortgage and rent to feeling like my favorite aunt died.

On our way back to the house from Cleveland, I cried most of the way. Randy was pretty quiet too. He’s not much of a crier but I could tell selling the house was hard on him too. Between fits of tears, I thought about everything I needed to do before we moved and the stress kept right on piling up. We talk and talk about what needs to get done right away, what can wait until closing to the house closing. We have lists and lists of things to we to do, store, sell, fix, and buy. Crazy times.

This has probably been one of the most simultaneously stressful times for us as a couple. There have been times that I was the rock and times he was the rock. Now we don’t a rock but we cling to each other fiercely. At night I’ve found that we hold onto one another more tightly than usual. We’re touching each other more than normal. It has to be a primate thing, but I’m not going to complain because for some reason it truly makes me feel better.

I propose you give it a try with your spouse. The next time the world feels like it’s going to swallow you whole, just hold each other.

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First the good news - I got a really great job offer. Bad news - it’s in a city 3.5 hours away. So that means, the Marriage Diva and husband are packing up and heading north to the great city of Cleveland. If it’s good enough for Drew Carey it’s good enough for us.

Right now it’s a mix of some excitement and exhaustion. Last weekend was spent moving stuff to storage, painting, packing and cleaning. The house is on the market and the pictures just went up online yesterday. Even had a walk through today! Just waiting for an offer now. Any second now the phone will ring…it’s a sellers market right? Kidding. I just hope having the smallest house in the neighborhood and the price tag to prove it will work to our advantage.

What does this have to do with marriage? Everything. We’re moving from out first house. The excitement of the bidding, securing a mortgage, painting, redecorating - this was the first time we did that together. We feel like we did a lot of growing up in this house. Growing up as people and growing into our marriage. I didn’t love the house when we bought it. Who can love a 4 year old ranch? But when I took our wedding pictures down, when I carefully packed away 5 years worth memories in cardboard boxes I fell in love with my house. I stood in my living room today, sort of a extra clean and tidy shell of what it was a week ago and cried. We bought this house because it was sensible for us at the time. We bought it together. And together we leave. I’ll always have the memories of our 5 years here and I look forward to what lies ahead but nothing can quite compare to your first home.

And now I sit at my desk in the office we painted together on a desk we bought together writing (and crying) about a house I never thought I’d love as much as I do at this moment.

Technorati Tags: moving, relocating, marriage, sad

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Not as scandalous as friends with benefits, but it’s even better in my opinion! Recently over at Marriage Actually, Bald Man posted his top 10 benefits of being married. I definitely think there are more pros than cons when it comes to marriage. Sadly, there are a lot of people out there that don’t agree. Usually those people tend to me a little more vocal than the happy ones so sometimes marriage gets a bad rep.

In no particular order, here is my top ten list:

1. I can reach the low stuff easily and he can get the high stuff.

2 . He helps me with chores I detest doing.

3. We like the opposite parts of buffalo wings.

4. I never go to bed lonely.

5. Kisses.

6. I never feel like I’m facing the world alone.

7. Someone to have inside jokes with.

8. Built in life coach.

9. Someone to cook with.

10. Knowing there is one person in the whole world with whom I’m completely safe.

Technorati Tags: top ten, marriage, love, husband, wife

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Like I’m going to tell you! Seriously though, sharing bedroom information with friends outside the marriage is a sensitive subject. Especially for woman. We tend to share more with girlfriends but we need to know when enough is enough. The world and your buddies don’t need your verbal bedroom cam descriptions. Here are some rules we should live by when it comes to regaling friends with private information: Continue reading →

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I was talking with a friend of mine the other day about old jobs. Back in college I worked as a librarian at a small town library. It was a great job, lots of interesting people. Let’s see, there was the VERY religious family who had all their children dress alike. All the girls were prairie like dresses in the same pattern and the boys all had the same shirt and pants. And they weren’t twins. I think there were about 20 of them…or maybe 8. It’s been a long time. Another doozy was the woman who constantly argued about how her romance novels were NOT late and she refused to pay the fines. My boss always relented and would erase her fines enough that she was able to check out more trashy books. She yelled a lot. I remember on the last day she came in and I refused to check books until she paid.

But I also remember a small Thai woman who would come in with a much older man who looked like he was about to lose his legs to diabetes. She was probably in her late 20’s and he had to be in his 60’s. Being that it was a small town, I found out that she was a mail order bride. Oooh the scandal! I don’t think they could go anywhere in town without whispers following.

But I remember watching them. I never got the feeling the woman was unhappy. And the guy didn’t seem like a deviant either. They seemed very kind to one another. She took very good care of him; helping him along or pushing him in his wheelchair. They’d look at books and movies together and carry on normal conversations. I’d see them around town eating out and they both seemed very content. He had someone to help him and she was about to come to the U.S. and have some financial stability. All in all, it didn’t seem dubious or tawdry. A little lackluster maybe, but really not all that bad. Looking back, I’m sure they had a better relationship than a lot of the Stepford wives in the town.

What do you think? Can a mail order marriage work? Does there have to be romance for it to be a marriage?

Technorati Tags: mail order, mail order bride, mail order marriage, wive, romance, husband, wife

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